On Wooing Women

Disclaimer:

Since most of my readership consists of students from my university, I’m using this blog post to talk about today’s theme for spirit week: “Woo a Woman Wednesday.” Please note that even though I’m skeptical, I don’t necessarily think the event is wrong, and I certainly don’t think it is sinful to participate.

However, I’d like to encourage you to stop and think about what this theme communicates to particular groups of people on campus and how it reflects certain negative attitudes that are at work in our university’s culture.

Because I am an English major, discussions in my classes often center around women’s issues and how we, as Christ-followers, need to make sure that all human beings are shown the love and respect they deserve as people who have been created in God’s image. Here are a few reasons why I think “Woo a Woman Wednesday” is a bad idea.

1.       Not everyone can participate in the event.

First, this theme is geared toward couples, which means that people who are singles probably don’t feel comfortable participating. Although those who designed the event probably thought this might be a great matchmaking opportunity, the majority of men on campus who are not in a relationship will likely feel awkward about asking a girl out today, especially if they are not already serious about pursuing a dating relationship with her. Even if a guy wants to do something special for a girl who is “just a friend,” he may feel uncomfortable because he knows she might take it in the wrong way. Let’s be realistic here: Mainly couples and overeager freshman males will take advantage of this event.

Second, “Woo a Woman Wednesday” also prevents women from participating. You may be thinking, “What? Doesn’t the event center around women?” Well, yes it does, but only the men are actively participating. All the women have to do is look pretty in the hopes that they will be “wooed.” I couldn’t participate if I wanted to. The spirit of the theme does not allow me to woo a woman (Shocking!!)—or even to woo a man if I wished to do so. Let’s avoid the question of whether or not a girl should be able to ask a guy out, because that’s a sticky topic, and I haven’t decided what I think about it. In any case, a woman should be able to show a man some sort of affection in a dating relationship. Otherwise, she’s just the passive object of his affections—he objectifies or dehumanizes her, performing specific actions to win her instead of getting to know her and appreciating her as a human being. More practically speaking, from what I have gathered, a man wants a woman to show some sort of interest in him before they begin a relationship, so he know whether or not she is willing to be “wooed.”

However you approach the topic, today’s spirit week theme discourages the vast majority of students on campus from participating. This defeats the purpose of spirit week, which is supposed to be a time when all of the students can come together to show pride in their school. And—seriously—since when does wooing a woman show school spirit?!?!

2.       It encourages a harmful dating culture.

If you are a student (or faculty or staff) at my university, you probably know that dating is a huge part of our school’s culture. Although dating can definitely be a good thing, the atmosphere here on campus borders on obsession with guy-girl relationships. That’s not healthy.

If you came here for your M.R.S. or M.R. degree, I feel deeply sorry for you. It’s wonderful to meet a special Christian guy or girl on campus and get married after graduation, but it shouldn’t be your only purpose in going to a great Christian university. Why should you have to spend a ridiculously huge amount of money on tuition just to meet your future spouse (which may or may not happen)?

On top of that, our dating culture often pushes people toward marriage who are either not emotionally mature enough to be in a relationship, or who need to stay single for a time to develop and make use of their talents to serve the Lord.

Here’s another way to look at the way “Woo a Woman Wednesday” promotes an unhealthy form of dating culture. What is going to happen to all the girls who head back to their dorm tonight without having been “wooed”? They’ll probably feel rejected to some extent. They’ll wonder why they weren’t good enough. Are they not beautiful enough to attract a man? Did they expect too much? Were they too forward? Too withdrawn?

In any case, an awful lot of girls are going to have hurt feelings tonight, and this is NOT acceptable. They should not view themselves in this way, and they should not be made to feel that their appearance is at fault—because even though most girls are obsessed with appearance, they need to know that truly healthy relationships are based in something deeper. They need to be shown that they are valued because they belong to God, because of their character and their faith.

3.       It does not promote healthy Christian community.

I’ve already talked a lot about how today’s spirit week theme excludes people and causes hurt feelings. All of these factors contribute to the way in which attitudes that are reflected in this theme fail to build a healthy Christian community.

In Paul’s wonderful discussion on marriage and singleness in 1 Corinthians 7, he says, “Only let each person lead the life that the Lord has assigned to him, and to which God has called him. This is my rule in all the churches” (v. 17). If this teaching was so important to Paul, why doesn’t Christian culture embrace the truth that people should choose marriage or singleness without feeling pressured into doing something they don’t want to do?

Instead, contemporary Christian teaching privileges marriage over singleness—ironic, because Paul suggested that singleness better equipped Christians for service. We have tons of sermons, workshops, and conferences on marriage. But what about the single people? What does Christian culture have to offer them?

Singles at a Christian university like mine often look around and see almost all their peers forming romantic relationships, and they wonder what they have done wrong. They feel out of place, and they feel less “Christian” than they ought to be, because they are not going out, snagging a godly man or woman, and raising godly children. Our culture should not be encouraging this feeling of exclusion.

Dating and marriage and having children are good. Yes. But singleness should also be accepted. Instead of consciously or unconsciously excluding people, we as Christians need to work hard to make sure we are building a healthy community where all believers are accepted on an equal basis—both men and women; those who are dating, married, or single. Doing so will fulfill the vision of community that Paul longs for in 1 Corinthians 7 and 12, and it will lead us toward a better reflection of the principles of love in 1 Corinthians 13. This will help us to create a safe place for all Christians to be the people God has called them to be, and it will encourage each of us to serve God according to our individual talents.

What are some of your thoughts on the issues of gender and relationships in Christian community? Did you choose to participate in “Woo a Woman Wednesday”? Why or why not? Let me know what you think.

August Q&A: Summer Reading, Life Lessons, and How to Make Friends at College

Happy August, and welcome to my first Q&A post! I really enjoyed hearing from you, my awesome readers, and answering your questions. Let’s do it again next month, shall we?

Just ask me a question by commenting on any of my blog posts, or send me an email at marginalia.jo@blogspot.com. You could ask about things I've written in previous posts; about literature, college, my life and opinions, or whatever you'd like to hear. Once I receive your questions, I’ll plan to write another Q&A on September 1.

From Annie: Can I ask TWO questions?

Sure! :) 

First, what has been your favorite book to read this summer?

So far, my favorite has been Howl’s Moving Castle, by Diana Wynne Jones. It’s delightful—one of those stories that I just wanted to live in.

Second, what new thing has God taught you this summer? Thanks!

Well, this isn’t really a new lesson, but lately God has been teaching me more about contentment. I’m learning to stop longing for something that happened in the past or something that I hope will happen in the future, to stop worrying about the decisions that I’ll have to make soon, to start looking for opportunities to make the most of where I am right now. It’s a hard lesson to learn, but it’s definitely worthwhile.

From Esther: Is there hope of overcoming the fear of being all by myself in the suffocating crowds of people I don't know in Chuck's/chapel/places like that? Cuz as the days get closer to Getting Started weekend I'm kinda starting to worry about stuff like that.... *sheepish grin*

Making new friends is one of the scariest parts about freshman year—or at least, it was for me. The good news is that the other freshmen you’ll meet will be in the same boat, so they’ll be more willing to reach out. Just remember that potential friends are everywhere—in your hall/unit, in your classes and lab groups, and even in the dining hall. You may be surprised by how easy it is to make friends at college.

Here’s another tip: When you meet someone and know you will interact more with that person in the future, ask if he or she would like to exchange phone numbers. The next time you need company for a meal or a social event, you will have a list of friends you can contact. Also, don’t be afraid to be by yourself once in a while. There’s no shame in eating alone, but sometimes you can meet great people at mealtimes by asking to share their table. I met my roommate at breakfast one morning, and another time some upperclassmen invited me to join them at lunch when they saw I was by myself.

At some point during freshman year you will see the people around you begin to form cliques. Don’t worry if you aren’t a part of that right away. Sometimes it takes a while to find the place you want to be and the people you want to spend time with, and that’s ok. It took me an entire semester to find my friend group, and some people I know didn’t find good friends until even later. Just make as many friendships as you can, and relax. You may not find a solid friend group for a while, but when you do, you’ll realize that it was worth the wait.

Why The Hunger Games Hasn’t Worked (Yet)

Last spring I wrote a review about Suzanne Collins’s The Hunger Games. After reading Catching Fire and Mockingjay and watching the movie, I continue to appreciate Collins’s artful methods of communicating her stance against violence, corruption, and oppression. Still, I don’t think many fans of The Hunger Games realize what Collins is trying to say.

Around the time the movie came out, The Hunger Games-themed merchandise became hugely popular. Mockingjay pins became a fashion statement, along with replicas of Katniss’s hunting jacket and arena costume. If you’ve read Catching Fire, this should sound familiar: It’s the same way the Capitol responded after Katniss’s victory in the arena.

Does this creep you out? It should.

The point of view that Collins uses throughout the series pulls readers into Katniss’s world to create empathy for Katniss. The connection that Collins builds between her readers and her main character is so strong that, in a sense, the readers become Katniss. This helps the readers sympathize with the oppressed and abused characters that populate the story.

But instead of wanting to become champions of justice, fans of The Hunger Games get wrapped up in the excitement of the games and the love triangle between Katniss, Peeta, and Gale. Instead of getting inspired to help starving and mistreated people in our own country and around the world, fans are intrigued by the false “star-crossed lovers” theme—just like the citizens of the Capitol.

I’ve been thinking about this for a while, and it bothers me. After all, writers have been using fiction to expose societal flaws for hundreds of years. So…why isn’t it working now? Is fiction becoming less effective than it used to be?

I could argue that readers aren’t taking The Hunger Games seriously because our society can’t take anything seriously anymore, but I’m not going to go that far. There are always difficult things going on in daily life, not to mention on a national and global level. Sometimes life gets so troublesome that you need to lighten up a little just to stay sane.

So what is the problem? Well, I can’t claim that I’ve figured it out, but here are a couple factors to consider.

The Movie

Ok, I know what you’re thinking, but I am NOT going into that cliché books-are-better-than-movies spiel. I like watching movie adaptations of books, if only to see how other people interpret books and use their creativity to bring them to life. Granted, film adaptations can be done poorly, but I think it’s safe to say that The Hunger Games was a good one.

However, the movie’s point of view is completely different from the book, and I think that damages the fans’ perceptions of the story. The film creates emotional distance between viewers and Katniss by placing the audience in the role of Capitol viewers, at least during the arena scenes. Caesar Flickerman and Claudius Templesmith periodically interrupt the games with commentary and explanations, making the viewers feel like they’re watching one of the Capitol’s mandatory broadcasts.

On one hand, the movie’s shift in point of view cleverly solves the problem of translating a first-person novel into a film. Removing the viewer from Katniss’s head also allows the film to portray other perspectives, such as members of other districts during the games and Seneca Crane’s interactions with President Snow. At the same time, it fails to build a strong level of empathy with Katniss, which, in the books, is essential to understanding how the Capitol oppresses the districts and how the young heroine subverts its power.

Perhaps this is why many fans just don’t get the significance of The Hunger Games. From my observations of other fans, the film affects the fandom’s perspective on the story about as much as the books do.

The movie isn’t hopeless, though, especially since the entire trilogy hasn’t been made into movies yet. It’ll be interesting to see how the filmmakers portray Catching Fire, which will be in theaters this fall. If they spend enough time depicting the Capitol’s oppression of the people in the districts while steering away from creating angst over the whole love triangle thing, perhaps they can preserve Collins’s message.

The Fandom

This brings me to another factor: the Hunger Games fandom.

**Side note: for those of you who don’t already know, a fandom is basically a kingdom of the fans of a particular book, movie, or TV show. They congregate on the internet to talk about their obsession, to laugh over related internet memes, and to cry together over dead favorite characters.**

Like I said earlier, the film heavily influences the fandom. However, I think the biggest problem is the fandom’s tendency to become too attached to characters.

Let me personalize this so I don’t sound like I’m bashing the idea of fandoms. I’m a bit of a fangirl myself. I get really attached to characters I like: I just want to hug them and squish them and call them my own. Sometimes I love these characters to the point that I feel like I know them better than the author does. I’ll change the story in my head just to benefit them. Confession: I skipped over the death scene of one character while I was reading Mockingjay, and I pretended it didn’t happen.

Is this wrong? Of course not. The relatability of fictional characters is the sign of a good author. However, if this is all you think about when you’re reading, you might be in trouble.

Sometimes you need to detach yourself from a character and think about what the character represents and why the author placed him or her in the story. What role does the character’s backstory play in his or her life, and why do you think the author chose that backstory? Does the author approve or disapprove of the character, and why? What idea does he or she represent?

The main pillar of the English major is that every good author makes specific choices to communicate a particular meaning. If you don’t read carefully, you can miss the whole point of what the author is trying to say—which is what I think has happened with The Hunger Games.

And, actually, it’s dangerous not to think about what you read. Careless readers can miss valuable lessons, or worse, mindlessly accept harmful ideology. A lot of people read carelessly, which is why propaganda is so effective.

So…are you thinking about what you’re reading? It’s a question I try to ask myself routinely, because if I’m not paying attention, the results could be unfortunate.

And finally, a reminder

Don’t forget that this Thursday, August 1, I’m planning a question-and-answer post, featuring questions from YOU! (If you missed my announcement, you can read it at the end of my last post.)

Feel free to ask about my life, college experiences, thoughts on literature, or just opinions on whatever you’d like to hear about—or you could just ask silly questions, because I like those, too. I’m looking forward to hearing from you, my fantastic readers. Just post your questions as a comment on this post, or email them to me at marginalia.jo@gmail.com

Until Thursday, then, and may the odds be ever in your favor!

Update…I’m Still Alive. Plus, a Brilliant Idea

Hey, everyone! I happened to scroll through my old blog posts with a friend today (you can read her blog here), when I realized that I haven’t posted anything for a long, long time. Sorry I’ve been so quiet lately.

I haven’t written recently because this summer has been so busy. Most of my summers are a little unusual—mostly because my parents and I like to scrounge for historical sites rather than lounge at the beach—but this one has been particularly exciting. Pretty much everything I’ve done so far can be summed up like this: “I did ______________, and I’m still alive!” For example:

• I spent three weeks in England studying Shakespeare with a bunch of really great people. While there I ended up doing a lot of exciting things such as riding on the London Underground and the train, eating British food, living in a dorm with crazy British college students, and visiting historic sites. I’m hoping to write a bit about England in a later post.
• My parents and I marched across a battlefield at Gettysburg to commemorate Pickett’s Charge. Since there were no bullets flying across the battlefield, our chances of survival seemed pretty good, but we still had to make it past the heat, ticks, snakes, thistles, and uneven ground. Also, we found out that while we were there, there was a bank robbery and a bomb threat in the town of Gettysburg. We were very happy that we weren’t in town at the time and that everything turned out ok.
• My dad has been teaching me how to drive. ‘Nuff said. Although I did hit a squirrel a few weeks ago, I’m still alive, the car is still alive, and everyone else and their cars are still alive. Hooray!!

As usual, I’ve been reading a lot, and I’ve discovered several truly wonderful books this summer. Sometime later, I’ll post about those, too.

Speaking of posts, I have a brilliant idea that I think you guys might enjoy. Here’s the deal:

Post a question for me on this post, and on August 1, I’ll post all the questions I receive with my answers. It doesn’t matter how much or how little you know me—feel free to ask just about anything, wither it’s silly or serious. Just…please use your common sense, ok? I won’t answer questions that are overly personal (I won’t give you my phone number) or inappropriate (you know what I mean).

Anyway, I hope you enjoy this. If it goes well this time, I might consider making it a regular feature of the blog.

You have until a week from today, so…ask away!

Waiting.

Seems like I’m always waiting for something. For the weekend, for Christmas morning, for someone to text me back, for a good song to play on the radio. Waiting…waiting…waiting…

 

Right now I’m waiting for spring. I mean, really, it’s the second day of spring already, and we’ve had snow two days in a row. The wind gnaws at my bones, and there isn’t a green leaf in sight anywhere. On my way to work this evening, I trudged past a cluster of bushes (or rather, bush skeletons) and remembered that they are lilacs for the first time since the flowers withered away last spring. Something—blue sky, a slightly warmer day, tiny weed blossoms—often hints that the season of wildflowers and warm, sweet-smelling air is frustratingly close, but never within reach.

I seem to be feeling this way about a lot of things lately. I’m waiting for so many things to happen that I keep looking beyond what’s in front of me, straining my neck around obstacles to see if whatever I’m waiting for is even closer than it was the last time I checked five minutes ago.

I am so done with waiting. But what’s even more exasperating is that I can’t do anything about it. I can’t force the lilacs to bloom any more than I can trek to the underworld to hurry Persephone back to the world of the living. It’s just so—darn—frustrating. Getting frustrated easily is one of my worst traits, a fact I’ve been reminded of since I was little bitty.

The practical side of my personality reminds me that I need to calm myself down and be content where I am now. I have so much: wonderfully supportive parents, delightful friends, warm clothing, and a place where I can learn amazing things in a community that encourages me to live like Christ.

The whole “bloom-where-you’re-planted” spiel is kinda cliché, but I think I’ll let my practical side win this argument, at least for now. After all, the White Witch doesn’t live in Ohio. Spring can’t be too far away.

What Writers Can Learn from Suzanne Collins in The Hunger Games

I just finished book one in The Hunger Games trilogy, and needless to say, I can’t wait to get my hands on Catching Fire! Yes, I know my timing is a little late, since the books have been out for a while, and fans are already awaiting the arrival of the film on DVD. But I wouldn’t allow myself to read it until I finished the semester. Actually, I hid my copy of the book in my sock drawer so I wouldn’t start reading it and get distracted from my schoolwork!

Once I finally got around to reading it, I couldn’t help noticing some of the techniques that author Suzanne Collins uses to make this story great. Here are just a few.

The Writing

Don’t expect to read The Hunger Games if you’re looking for frilly, Tolkien-esque prose. In fact, the vast amount of sentence fragments is enough to make any grammarian feel trapped in the arena. (Is that a dismembered sentence lying near the stream, or is the Tracker Jacker venom making me hallucinate?)

Grammar aside, Collins’s habit of using short, tense sentences—or lack thereof—fits Katniss’s circumstances and personality well. It’s a utilitarian, survival mode style of writing. And it works.

The prose is also what one of my English professors calls “epigrammatic.” This means that, every so often, Collins/Katniss provides us with a short statement that is witty or beautiful, or that eloquently sums up the situation. Example: “I am not pretty. I am not beautiful. I am as radiant as the sun.” Nice, eh? What makes these epigrams fantastic is that not only do they provide fans with material for memes, they make the overall writing style richer, wiser, and more enjoyable.

The Characters

I have to admit, the sheer vitality of Collins’s characters was probably my favorite part of the book. As I read, I grew so empathetic to Katniss that I felt as if I became her. If someone had asked me my name while I was in the middle of reading The Hunger Games, I would have looked up from my book and promptly responded, “Katniss Everdeen.” Now that’s great character development.

Not only does Collins carefully develop her main character, she draws attention to her minor characters as well. Each one is memorable, from Haymitch to Rue to Caesar Flickerman to the redhaired Avox girl. Collins hints at the elaborate backstories of many minor characters, even if she doesn’t reveal the details.

She also adds realism to her characters by giving them internal contradictions. Katniss hunts, skins, and guts her own animals, but she is squeamish when it comes to human injuries. Peeta is inherently gentle, but he also has a fierce side. Cinna may be a madman, but he is also kind and cunning. Collins invites her readers to wonder at these ironies, to marvel at the many-faceted jewel that is the human personality.

The Critique

Collins’s reasoning behind writing the trilogy is fairly well known, so I won’t go into the details here. However, I just have to say that I was intrigued when I heard about it, because so many noteworthy American and British writers I studied in class this semester used the same style: social critique.

More specifically, she uses the technique of subversion, meaning she takes the very thing she’s speaking against and twists it. In The Hunger Games, she does this by writing about violent entertainment from the perspective of someone forced to appear in a reality TV show. Through Katniss’s eyes, she shows the deception that goes on backstage, as well as the human element behind all the blood and gore.

Again, most of the writers we consider great do the same things, but in our contemporary world where authors can hide behind the safe labels of genre fiction, this is often not the case. Modern readers can separate fiction from nonfiction, because our fiction doesn’t contain enough truth. It’s too comfortable. It doesn’t challenge our society’s existing mindset. The Hunger Games does, and that’s part of what makes it a great book.

Anyway, that’s my Hunger Games experience. What did you think of The Hunger Games? Suzanne Collins? Writing in general? Feel free to drop me a comment—I’d love to hear from you.

Until next time, my friends, and may the odds be ever in your favor!

Alarm Clock Adventures, Lake Water, and the People Who Bug Me

                I have a love-hate relationship with my alarm clock. I love it because it’s an iPod alarm clock, meaning it plays calm, beautiful music every morning—I hate it, not just because it wakes me up ridiculously early, but because it seems to have a mind of its own.

                And I’m not kidding. Some mornings I oversleep because the volume has been turned down by some mysterious force…or because it somehow turned itself off. But don’t worry; these mishaps don’t occur all the time. In fact, sometimes they’re my fault. One night I forgot to set my clock, but I also forgot to turn off the alarm on my cell phone. I woke up at the exact time I had planned, but I heard the vibrating of my phone instead of the music the clock usually plays. It was a mistake that ended happily.

                You can see that, like most of my electronic gadgets, my alarm clock can be rather persnickety at times. In keeping with its mischievous nature, it decided to have a disagreement with my iPod one day. Equally petulant, my iPod decided it wasn’t going to play music while plugged into the clock. I had a childish squabble on my hands.

                “You both work for me, so you need to work together, whether you like each other or not,” I wanted to tell them. But then I realized that this must be what God tries to tell me when I don’t get along with other believers.

                And lately, I’ve been getting annoyed with people way too often. The most recent imaginary punishment I’ve contrived for irritating persons is shoving them into the lake here on campus. It’s a great way to shock somebody without actually harming them: they get cold, wet, and covered in slime, but nothing a warm shower wouldn’t fix. I’d even help pull them out of the lake. Maybe.

                Don’t worry, I’m not actually planning to push anyone into the lake; it just sounds like a really good idea sometimes.

                But at the same time, my imagined conversation with my alarm clock and iPod convicted me of my attitude. If Christians are truly working for the Lord, shouldn’t they get along to accomplish His goals instead of bickering with each other?

                I don’t want my frustration to get in the way of my true purpose in life: bringing glory to God and encouraging His people. Still, there are people—even believers—who truly deserve a mouthful of algae. I’m not sure what to do with the fact that people are annoying, but I also know that I need to develop an attitude of love toward everyone, even the people I dislike.

                Loving those who don’t deserve it isn’t my forte, but it was Christ’s. After all, He forgave the ones who killed Him, as well as the sins of the entire world, as he was being crucified. How amazing is that?

                I’m so thankful that the Holy Spirit gives me the power of Christ to live in a way that honors Him (see 2 Peter 1:3-4), even though my sinful nature still struggles with wanting to do the wrong things and embrace bad attitudes. As I trust the Lord to help me become a better follower of Him, I know I will still get annoyed with people, but He will slowly replace my frustration with genuine love for others.